The element of surprise bit me in the (fill in the blank).

I started about five different blog posts this week, but left each one dangling.  I couldn’t get them to gel.  I started writing about the sun in my office, how my husband always breaks zippers, putting green food coloring in milk, do-overs, and believe it or not, all the different words that mean “butt.”  

Yes, these are all legitimate blog topics and one day you will see the final version.  Well, maybe not the butt one, for reasons explained below, but it’s real, I swear.  

If you’re a writer, you know that often when you start writing, the gist of the piece reveals itself as you go.  You don’t know what it’s really about until you’re in the thick of it.  It’s one of the things I enjoy most about blogging.  The element of surprise.

But every one of those posts I started this week ended up being about my health.  And I don’t want to blog about my health.  

I DON’T WANNA!  [Foot stamping and fist clenching.] 

Not here on this site.  Not the nitty-gritty.  It’s not a simple story to tell and it’s full of TMI that would make you cringe.  

Yes, I’ve alluded to an illness and I’ve mentioned that I left my job because of it - if you didn’t know, now you do - but that’s all you’re gonna get.  As much as my writing this week is screaming at me to spill it, I’ve made a conscious decision not to.  

SO THERE.  [Arms folded and eyes narrowed.]

On my website, you won’t get the gory details.  

You’re welcome.

                       *********************************************************************

Wait!  Do you see what just happened?  I wrote a blog about my health.  Darn!  The element of surprise has bitten me in the heinie (that’s on my butt list, by the way.)  

Do you think the universe is trying to tell me something?

Duh.

Here’s the thing - some days my illness takes over my life.  I refuse to let it take over my blog.  And there are so many other topics to write about, I mean, there’s green milk and broken zippers and sunshine waiting to find themselves on my page. 

But I’m not one to argue with the pull of the universe, so here’s a compromise:  I’ve submitted a piece to a publication called The Mighty, for and about people with chronic illness.  If they accept it, I’ll put a link on my site.  If you happen to be a gory-detail aficionado, you can check it out there.  

In the meantime, I’ll be working on blogs about the adventurously mundane parts of my life.  Like robots - that’s where this blog started.  

Let’s see where it goes.  It may surprise us all.